Why men have affairs?
Talk about a loaded matter that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on since old ages. Affairs can be burdened with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. In addition you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness issue, funds, age difference, religious upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married women for dating.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I think typically though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the real world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to turn the longing on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not harm your relatives or anybody else? You would need to lessen the threat you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the largest group, enormous in fact. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they feel happy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your savings are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them implementing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sadly this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a male I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “hot wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is gone, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just grown distantly, our ordinary interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.